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7 Attributes of The Truly Confident Person

 

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A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves. True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has a few key attributes embedded in it, seven of them, in fact, which are the hallmarks of the truly confident person. You cannot say you are confident unless you score highly on each of those seven aspects.

1. Self-Love
This is the first crucial attribute. If you have no self-love, you have no confidence because this is at the heart of confidence: self-love and self-acceptance, which then decide our self-esteem. It is not possible to be happy and confident yet dislike our bodies or ourselves. Any lack of self-love is a prelude to misery and dissatisfaction with our lot. Happiness begins from within and when we love ourselves and do not seek the approval of anyone, we are half-way to real contentment and the next key attribute, self-belief.

2. Self-Belief

With self-love comes amazing self-belief in what is truly possible. The Universe is our limit, as we become unstoppable and fearless. People who think highly of themselves do not see barriers to achievements or obstacles in their paths. Anything which blocks their journey can be removed because confident people already believe they have the tools to remove those blocks. They can cope with crises too because they believe they can. That is the main difference between a confident and a fearful person: one believes they have the power to affect their life, whereas the other person looks to others to do it for them.

3. Self-Comfort
Confident people are happy in their own skin. They love who they are, they do not wish to be anyone else and they seek no one's approval to be whom they wish to be. That is a sure sign of a strong sense of belonging and personal security. Even when there is a setback, they know it is only temporary and they will be back in action again because they value themselves and their talents, regardless of what other people think. They tend to do what they please without following the fashion or being lemmings. Being natural leaders, they tend to set the pace for others and to inspire them.

4. Self-Awareness
Confident people know their limitations and their potential. That is because they do not sit and dwell on their weaknesses, like people of low esteem. They identify their strengths and nurture them while acknowledging their weaknesses as important to their personality. They are fully aware that the unique beings they are is the result of BOTH their strengths and weaknesses, so they do not dwell on the negative aspects of their personality. They know what makes them happy and sad. Being leaders and optimists, they are more assured in their direction and objectives because they understand who they are and what they want, which is the first key step to boosting achievement and personal development.



5. Fearlessness
Confident people tend to be pioneers, fearless in their approach and their actions. It is not that they do not have the usual fears of survival. What they don't have is the limiting and paralysing fears regarding simply living their life to the utmost which plague insecure and non-confident people. Those with high self-esteem are keen to get on with it so they tend to act first and be afraid later! Willing to take risks and to make sacrifices, they have very little fear in living their life to the max.

6. Experiment
Really confident people love to experiment, to try out new situations, innovate and create, They are always pushing the boundaries of their talents because of their self-belief. Unlike people of low esteem, confident ones do not care about making mistakes, because they know that's how they learn and grow. They are not worried about being wrong, but at arriving at a solution or a different result, no matter how many times they have to change their approach. They recognise that mistakes are part and parcel of success on their personal journey. Failure is not in their vocabulary and so they will achieve their desires no matter how long it takes, because they have the tenacity, self-belief and determination to keep trying even when many others have given up.

7. Happiness
Confident people are truly happy with their life. It doesn't mean they are never sad. It means that if they are down it lasts very briefly and then they are back up again. They know they can always do something else and change the result. People of low esteem always blame themselves and reinforce that with even poorer thoughts of their abilities, so they stay in the doldrums much longer. They are not truly at peace so they take the knocks badly.

Confident people know that setbacks are temporary and all they need to do is brush themselves off and start over again, while keeping their eye on their goals. Above all, being contented with themselves and their bodies, confident people tend to be truly happy, approachable, often cheerful and with a ready smile.

So how do you fare with this measurement of confidence?




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The Power of Self-Appreciation
Don't wage a war against yourself!

 

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We all try to be perfect, with mainly negative results, every day of our lives. The only way to avoid sterile perfectionism which gets us nowhere is to improve our confidence. But this is no easy task when we are all governed by our thought patterns and old habits cling fast.

There are a number of things we can do to boost our confidence and remove the desire for perfection, but it depends on the level of esteem we already enjoy. If confidence is flagging, one can take remedial steps, but if it is non-existent or has come under repeated attacks, it will need a greater resolve, and perhaps even counselling, to change it positively. When your confidence needs boosting, two main things are very important:

First: Think Positively. Low self-esteem feeds on negative messages and thoughts so avoid indulging in constant self-criticism. That's like waging incessant war on yourself. Acknowledge your weaknesses, yes, but do not dwell on them. It's your weaknesses too that makes you unique. Do something about them instead. For example, treat yourself to something you definitely enjoy, just as you would do for a friend you value. If you feel lonely and have no regular date, why not hire a professional escort for an evening to take you out? One who would make you feel a million dollars, yet without compromising you. They are likely to look and behave great too! That should gradually build your confidence to find your own partner.

Often we don't feel we deserve to be happy in life or to actually admit that we are proud to be alive. Instead we deny ourselves the pleasures we crave, always waiting for tomorrow or worrying about the consequences. But tomorrow might never come, as we might be gone tonight. Furthermore, we can always deal with what life throws at us, especially if we are feeling good! We also tend to attribute our accomplishments only to 'luck'. But there is no such thing. When people complimented one woman on how lucky her son was to be a celebrated singer, her reply was always a gracious, "Thank you for saying that. But the most fascinating thing is that the harder he works, the luckier he seems to get!"



So, give yourself credit for your own personal achievement. Your successes have been due to preparation, hard work, experience of what is appropriate and, finally, the time and circumstances being appropriate for your efforts to come to fruition. Luck has little to do with it.

Second: Be Proud of YOU. You are unique, so appreciate your identity, your gender, your colour, your name, your customs, your dress, your values and traditions. If you dilute or hide these elements to please others, you will always be undermining what makes you a unique person while putting others and their values above yourself. This will only keep you feeling insecure, inadequate and second-best. People cannot respect what you are ashamed of, and some Asian people who hide their names, for example, or readily change them to suit Westernised ones, come easily to mind.

People who are also willing to shorten their names to suit others who are too lazy to accept the proper versions are merely compromising and devaluing themselves to please others. Yes, you should compromise where you can, but on mutual terms, not just on the terms of others, otherwise you give a very powerful message of your own low level of self-esteem, desire to please and little pride in being you.

Self-appreciation is the start of everything that's good in our life, the lynchpin to getting what we desire. It does not matter what other people do, but if we treat ourselves with love and respect, with daily appreciation for who we are, others are likely to treat us in exactly that way too.




5 magical ingredients for getting what you want

 

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Do you find it easy to know what you want and express it clearly? If not, what is holding you back?

Whether we pay homage to God, Nature, the Universe or whatever, there comes a time when we seek help or intervention for something important to us, something that affects our innermost desires. Very often our prayers or requests are not granted and then we tend to lose hope. But we are not likely to have our prayers answered for three main reasons.

First, we tend to pray or make our request when there is a crisis, so we pray with anxiety and desperation, the panic button at full throttle, with lots of doubts and fears, and no real belief in routine miracles or getting a result! Surprise, surprise, nothing much happens, which then confirms the lurking doubt within us that our god doesn't truly care or isn't really there! Second, any prayer to a higher unseen power takes a massive leap of faith and belief in what is possible and we tend to lack such blind faith. Third, and most important, we fail to ask specifically for what we want because we have not stopped to think about it clearly. Instead we cling to a generalised idea of our situation, a kind of cure-all "Help me, please!" plea because too many things in our life need sorting out. We are afraid to make our request specific in case it might seem unrealistic, unreasonable or even selfish to others.

But that attention to specifics is what helps to provide focus, and once we start to focus we begin to energise the desire, to make it an intention rather than just a fleeting wish, which then moves people and the environment to help us to achieve it. In fact, to show how the Universe (or your God) delivers when we have faith, just think of any item, like a type and colour of car, and focus on it for a while. From that moment on, a rush of cars conforming to that type and colour will come into your vision; the articles which draw your attention in magazines are likely to relate to it and unexpected occurrences around that type of car will begin to happen. The power of thought is phenomenal for fulfilling our wishes. Sooner or later, circumstances will conspire in a series of coincidences to give us that car, if it was our desire. We are on earth to be happy and healthy; to have our desires fulfilled. However, it is a focus on negativity which keeps us feeling unhappy.


The Fulfilment of Dreams
There is no great mystery to fulfilling our dreams. So long as we can articulate exactly what we want, we can always achieve it with action and commitment. I am in total agreement with Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner (NLP: The New Technology of Achievement) when they say, "In NLP we believe that anyone can do anything. If its not possible the world of experience will let us know. We'll find out by doing, not by thinking that we can't."

In fact, I believe that we can have anything we want in our lives if we have five simple attributes, what I call my 'magical ingredients':

1. The SELF-BELIEF that we can make it happen.


2. The FAITH in our abilities, and a higher power, to carry it out.


3. The ACTION and effort to bring it to fruition.


4. The willingness to pay the price in focus and COMMITMENT


5. The COURAGE and patience to see it through.

There is nothing so great about my suggestion. It is the power of thought and belief that has built our world. When I use my computer I am writing on someone else's thought which they brought into being through their belief. When I use a microwave, I use someone else's thought, the direct manifestation of their faith in what is possible. When I drive my car I am enjoying Henry Ford's thought and experimentation for my comfort and journey. Every time I turn on the electric light we take for granted I am using Thomas Edison's thought and the personal courage and determination that took him 10,000 attempts and a massive leap of faith to get it working.

And as you read any of my books or articles you are sharing my thoughts and creations, the end result and confirmation of a deep faith and belief that I could actually write a book or anythng for public consumption, take action on it and find the courage and determination to bring it to life! I simply asked, believed in it, took action, and it was given.





Does Positive Thinking Really Help You?

 

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Yes it does, for a variety of reasons. Every single person see the world according to who they are and where they're coming from. The world appears to them through their own singular lens based upon eight primary influences:



* the way they were brought up

* culture

* gender

* religion

* personal values

* emotional maturity

* experiences

* thought processes.

It stands to reason that no two persons will see the world the same, especially when they were reared differently. Just being brought up in two different countries can have a vast effect on how someone perceives the world.

I was born in Jamaica and then settled in the UK. The difference between those two countries are just unimaginable, though one was a colony and governed by the other. For a start, Jamaica could fit into Britain at least seven times geographically; the culture and expectations are entirely different in the UK; the experiences are awesome and the opportunities are much more than one could get in the smaller island. My early life in Jamaica shaped my world view of wealth, poverty, education and self potential, while the last 42 years in Britain have shaped my views on other important things that now matter to me like self determination, freedom and contentment. Thus my view of the world in both places have differed markedly.

However, even if one experienced more differences than similarities between the two countries, what has the greatest influence on each one of us are our THOUGHTS. The way we decide to feel every day we wake up dictates how the rest of the day unfolds. If we wake up feeling crappy it will take a lot to change our perspectives and whatever we are going to see and do. We are likely to be in a negative mood for the rest of the day. If we wake up feeling good and merely thinking that the world is a wonderful place because we are still in it, the rest of the day will seem very good too. We are likely to do far more with the positive view than if we resign ourselves to the worst with the negative one. We CHOOSE how we feel in any given day. We can either let the bills and economic crisis get us down, or we can take it in our stride and allow ourselves to think of gradual solutions to cope with them. Without positive thinking all we would have are negative thoughts about life that breed fear and keep us stuck in a rut. Yet nothing is ever one-sided.


Two sides to life

Everything in our life has two sides to it for balance: pleasure and pain, positive and negative, up and down. People find it easier to be negative because they tend to dwell in the downward or painful part, especially caused by their past. They focus on things that have happened ages ago that they cannot change; things that make them inadequate, overwhelm them and make them feel impotent. This affects the rest of their lives, especially their potential achievements. But that outcome is not surprising because we cannot serve two masters: the past and the present. If we are back there still carrying around negative actions in our head, still reliving old pain and hurt, we won't be able to deal with the demands of the present as we cannot be in two places at once.

That is why negative people mainly live in regret, always regretting the things they should have done and haven't done. They spend so much time being negative and living in the past, they miss the current opportunities that come to them daily. By the time they have realised they've missed the boat, again, it's too late to take advantage of those opportunities, which gives them even more things to regret on top of all the others which keep piling up. Of course, there would be lots of excuses for that too.


Reinforcement of Self-Belief
The only thing that gives us a healthy life is positive thinking. It doesn't mean we are positive every minute of our lives. We have to acknowledge the good bits as well as the bad, not live with our heads in the clouds. It simply means spending more time being positive and giving thanks for what you already have rather than wallowing in negativity while ignoring the blessings. Positive thinking reinforces our self-belief in what we can do, what we are capable of and what we could achieve. It builds our confidence and self-esteem and it makes us far more appealing to other people. No one likes to be around someone who is constantly glum or negative; one who only sees the dark side of life. That is not empowering, uplifting or inspiring.

We have a choice in how we think today or any day, whether positive or negative, it's up to us. But only positive thinking will get us what we want because we will be empowered to do something about it, not sit in worry and fear while we do nothing. Negativity brings fear and nothingness, positivity brings empowerment. With tomorrow being the first day of the rest of our lives, our continuing progress really depends on which one we personally wish to choose to welcome this awesome day.






4 Main Ways to Face Personal Challenges

 

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Most if us find it difficult to deal with the brickbats life throw at us but there are some essential things to do which will lessen the pain and problems we might have, and four, in particular, are priceless.

1. Every day, try to free yourself from the desire for perfection and allow your confidence to grow. It was the Buddhist Lama Yeshe who said, "Self-confidence is not a feeling of superiority, but of independence." That is an important point to remember: that you do not feel good because you are better than someone else. You feel good purely because of your own efforts and achievements. Confidence is not puffed up, arrogant, selfish or boastful. It is a quiet and unmistakable authority which motivates and inspires others. Self-confidence comes from being challenged to one's limits, meeting the challenges, having a sense of fulfilment and then setting new limits. We can only learn by admitting we don't know everything, and never will.

As another Buddhist advises, "Be light, humorous, eager to learn, courageous to change and not afraid of making mistakes. Emotionally beating yourself up is not helping you or the world; it does not change the past nor does it change the future. It only makes the present miserable." Absolutely.

2. Perseverance:
This quality will make a big difference to your life, so please bear it in mind. Do not not expect everything to happen at once or overnight, but it should not take too long either. Life is a journey, not a series of unconnected events. If you treat it as such, you will always be ready for the unexpected pit stop. You will accept that life will go on for you, with every day being a different one, until you don't exist anymore. The extent to which you enjoy and benefit from your life depends on the state in which you make that journey, whether you are positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist.

Having off-days in emotions, when you have to recharge to face the next day or hurdle, is absolutely fine too. Don't fall into despair just because your mood changes and you feel overwhelmed, sad or anxious at any particular time. We are not machines. The off-days are as important for recharging those emotional batteries as the good days. It's when every day is an off-day that life is truly problematic. If your self-esteem is consistently low, or you've tried confidence remedies and there is no improvement at all, it might be worth seeking professional help. It could be that you never really developed a high opinion of yourself during your childhood and you now lack a firm, positive base to build on in appreciating yourself as a valid, but flawed, extraordinary human being.




3. Take Risks:
If you have a problem or worry, it means it is time for change and something needs to be done differently. If you do not change, you will keep getting the same old problem. Always approach new experiences as opportunities to learn and develop rather than occasions to merely win or lose. Doing so presents new possibilities for your abilities which can increase your sense of self-worth, while providing opportunities to release that inner talent and reserve. It's always the challenge of the new, and the act of accepting these challenges at varying levels, which increase our self-confidence. Not doing so turns every possibility into a projected failure and inhibits personal growth.

For example, as I encourage contributions and opinions from our small office of four staff, it is often like a mad inventor's studio where we have many ideas for the business every week, while accepting that only few will ever work. The main outcome is that everyone has a sense of ownership and responsibility for every aspect of their work, making even the most junior worker feel significant. The beauty is to give room for those thoughts, to take the risks which seem realistic, and to wait. The right ones will always work, though perhaps not in the way we expect, or the time expected. Doing nothing simply brings us nothing.

4. Don't Be Defeated:
If at first you don't succeed, try something else. Everyone fails before they succeed. Think back to when you were a baby and learning to walk. You crawled first, then you stood up in an unsteady way, constantly landing on your bum. But repeatedly doing this improved your balance and built your confidence to take those first magical steps. Then you walked and, before long, you were running. However, there would have been many false starts and landings before you were able to run. As an adult, all you need is the same belief in, and patience with, yourself; the time to grow confidently and the determination to stick at it. By the law of averages, you will succeed in the end.

I am a living example of that with the business I created. Twelve years after starting my last business, it began to respond in the way I first envisaged because I too had to develop and grow with it. It doesn't mean I never had self-doubts, never felt foolhardy or demoralised, or not wanted to pack it in – especially in the face of a lack of support and too many crises. But its success was all the more enjoyable and well earned because of the long wait, personal enjoyment and persistent self-belief involved.




Do you find it difficult to give and receive praise? Not Anymore!!

 

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I remember going into a bakery in the marketplace in High Wycombe not long ago, at the same time as a rather old lady was leaving with her companion. She had great difficulty walking, but she deliberately stopped near the counter and said a very cheerful 'Good-bye!' to the staff member who was serving. The girl heard her but looked straight through the old woman without smiling and said nothing.

Very disappointed, the woman hobbled out slowly, exclaiming sadly that the girl couldn't be bothered to reply. This was a pity as it would only have taken a few words to make her day. Giving a cheerful greeting and having it returned was perhaps her way of feeling significant. Yet even that simple wish was denied her through a lack of empathy and neglect.



There are too many people who boast about not praising too much or showing appreciation. They tend to be unhappy, gloomy souls lacking in self-esteem who enjoy being mean to others to boost their ego, power and control.

But exactly what are they promoting? Selfishness? Being mean-spirited? Being uncaring and unsupportive? After all, there can never be too much acknowledgement or praise for those we love or care about.



Personally, I make a point of praising someone every day of my life, as one never knows the effect it will have on them, the way it might reinforce and affirm them, and the difference it is likely to make to them. However, I am always stuck with words like 'nice', 'good' 'super' to use in praising others, then this arrived in my email recently from someone in my network (thank you Hari Nair!) and it is brilliant.

Now I will never be stuck for choice words any more.

I thought I'd pass the good words along and share them with you too...Enjoy!




* Just Wow * Way To Go * Super * You're Special * Outstanding * Excellent * Great * Good * Neat



* Well Done * Remarkable * I Knew You Could Do It * I'm Proud Of You * Fantastic * Superstar



* Nice Work * Looking Good * You're On Top Of It * Beautiful * Now You're Flying

* You've Got It * You're Incredible * Bravo * You're Fantastic *Hurray For You * You're On Target

* You're On Your Way * How Nice *How Smart * That's Incredible * Dynamite *You're Beautiful

* You're Unique * Nothing Can Stop You Now *Good For You * I Like You * You're A Winner

* Remarkable Job * Beautiful Work * Spectacular * You're Smart * You're a Darling

*You're Precious *Fantastic Job * Hip, Hip, Hurray * Bingo *Magnificent * Marvelous * Terrific

* You're Important * You're Phenomenal *You're Sensational * Super Work * Creative Job

* Super Job * Fantastic Job *Exceptional Performance * You're A Real Trooper * You Are Exciting

* What An Imagination *What A Good Listener * You Are Fun * You Tried Hard *You're so Caring

* Outstanding Performance * You're A Good Friend * I Trust You * You Mean A Lot To Me

* You Make Me Happy *You've Got A Friend * You Make Me Laugh * You Brighten My Day

* I Respect You *You Mean The World To Me * You're A Joy * You're A Treasure

* You're Wonderful * You're Perfect * You;re Awesome *You Made My Day * You're The Best

* Have a Big Hug * I send You a Kiss * Hey, I Love You!

I hope you feel as great getting them as I enjoyed giving them! :o)

Your challenge from now? To use at least two of them every single day to two different people, and encourage them to pass on the praise in a global chain happy of love-in! Our world would be a much more loving and enjoyable place.






Tips for maintaining your self-esteem when faced with job loss or recession

 

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The economic recession is a period of financial death. Logic and precedence suggest that there will be a rebirth. The only real question is when. Until that upturn, personal self-esteem is often very low, especially if you have lost a job, been laid off, or are finding it hard to pay the bills. It is very tempting to feel inadequate, to forget your assets and strengths and to downplay your achievements, especially when the recession is prolonged. It is also very difficult to see solutions or opportunities.

The main thing to remember in any kind of of crisis or economic recession is that everything in life is always temporary! Try to imagine what you were worried about this time last year and the anxiety you might have had then. You will have a problem recalling it, or your mood, because nothing lasts for too long. Life always goes in a natural cycle of birth, growth, death and rebirth.

There are four main tips that should help your esteem through these natural changes, and they are very simple to do.

1. A daily reminder that you are the most important person, not the job. No matter what, you are the greatest resource for your life and nothing should come before you, not even a bank balance. So long as you have your faculties and expertise, there will always be another job. Self-belief is a most powerful motivator and that should put your temporary problems in their true perspective. Jobs provide experience and demonstrate your abilities but they are not the essence of life. Hence this is a time for review, a time to assess what really makes you happy, how you can go forward even more effectively and how you can turn the current recession into an opportunity for your talents.

2. Talk over your feelings with someone. You cannot ignore your emotional health at this time. Thoughts dictate your feelings and feelings dictate what you do. Unfortunately, thoughts tend to be negative during an economic recession, because they find it hard to see the future, hence people have negative feelings too and often feel impotent to act. This is where communication is a good therapeutic tool, especially with a professional friend or close associates to bolster your spirits and reinforce your strengths.

Consulting someone motivational could be highly beneficial and affirming, especially when self-esteem has plummeted. It would also provide much-needed support to prevent a feeling of isolation, inadequacy and depression. By discussing your thoughts, fears and ideas with them, you should be able to work out a new direction for yourself and see the future more clearly. Most important, you won't feel you are alone at such stressful times.

3. If you have applied for many jobs and haven't had any good replies for a while, time to try something else. Apply to a few places that you would love to work in with a simple letter, this time stressing that you are really keen to work in the field and whether you can shadow someone (senior) in it for a day, or few days, to see whether it is right for you and to learn more about the role. You are NOT asking for a job, just the opportunity to learn. However, what that immediately does, if you are granted it, is to get you inside the organisation for others to see you. It means that should a job come up shortly, you can proudly mention how much you enjoyed it when you came to shadow, conveniently name dropping the person you followed, then wait and see. If they were impressed with your shadowing, that never fails!

4. This is a time to focus on the temporary nature of the recession, to identify your key strengths and work out other options you could do in the meantime to prepare you for an even better position in the future. Training is a very good option at this time. Identify the innovations in your field, or select a new professional field that might suit your talents and begin preparing for it. You do not even have to do any formal training that might cost money. The Internet is a vast repository of information you can have freely to help you become more aware of the trends and add to your marketability.

During this economic recession, it is a time to keep the negative thoughts at bay and keep hope alive that it will all pass, just like everything else before it. Self belief is the most important factor here because it will help you ride the recession. Seeking some assistance from a good listener/counselor to boost your emotional health and motivation should also provide a source of comfort. Above all important review and retraining should gradually reaffirm who you are and exactly where you're heading!





The Main Difference Between a Billionaire and a Beggar

 

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Understanding how the mind works, and the power it has on the perception of our world, is acknowledging that we can create our realities and self-perceptions at a whim, if we wish, because the only difference between two worlds, for example between a billionaire and that of a beggar, is self-perception. Both people have conscious and unconscious elements operating in their lives that determine their differing existences.

One person's self-belief has propelled him to the heights he desires while that of another will help him to stay deprived. Not because this deprived state is automatic, or has to be accepted, but because the beggar's perception of success more likely depends on the direct intervention of another force (whether government, local authority, the public or winning the lottery) in order to change his situation for the better.

The beggar is likely to perceive himself as a victim, impotent to change his existence in any way and so remains in the same situation primarily through self-belief. The billionaire is likely to see himself as a creator, a person with power, in charge of his own destiny, fully capable of making things happen and changing his environment.

Thus the first step in acknowledging perception and its power is establishing what negative beliefs we carry around in our unconscious; to assess the extent to which we limit our achievements and what we desire just by wishing them away. For example, like the way we block our thoughts through fear, or put unnecessary hurdles in our path.

In essence, we have to assess how we put those fears on to our world every day of our lives, how those fears trap our dreams, often haunting us every step of the way.






Five simple steps to becoming debt free

 

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So you have a few debts, times are hard, and you are feeling overwhelmed. It is not a nice place to be. Furthermore, in such situations, many people tend to focus on the debts themselves instead of the positive ways of getting out of them. However, when we focus on anything negative, that is all we seem to attract in our lives - more negativity. So the best place to start getting out of a debt situation is inside our head.

1. Boost that confidence and self-belief
Start believing in yourself, telling yourself that you don't have to live in debt; that you have the talent, the determination and the will power to get any change you want in your life. Often we accumulate debts because we are not making our money work for us; not depending on ourselves to resolve our financial situation, but mainly on the money to do it. But money by itself will only go so far. By building your self-belief in what is possible, by setting clear goals in what you wish to achieve and by thinking mainly positive thoughts of how you wish to progress your life, things will begin to happen in the way you actually want them. Pointless sorting out the debts if your thoughts are not in alignment. All that will happen is that whatever you do about the debt will only be a temporary cure, not a permanent one, so it is likely to be repeated further down the line.

2. Assess the exact nature of your debts and income
Knowledge is a distinct advantage, but that is only one part of the equation. Applying that knowledge is the real power for you. Make two lists. On one list, itemize everything that you owe. On the other, itemize all your income. You should then have two totals. Work out, realistically, how much you would need to live on each week, then reduce that amount by a further 20% to get the right figure. That's your little sacrifice to pay off your debts. Resolve to live within your means from then on.

Destroy any credit cards and resolve to use cash for most of your shopping. You could keep just one debit card linked directly to your bank account, which you could use for those purchases that need a card. It means you will continue to live within your means because when you haven't got it, you won't use a credit card to pay for it.

3. Assessing income portions
The next step is to divide your income into THREE distinct percentage portions:


10% for you (as regular savings and for emergencies) that will gradually build into a useful nest egg.


70% for you to live on.


20% to pay your debts.



For example, if your income is $500 per week, you would put aside $50 every week for you (10%) as savings and for anything unexpected, you would live on $400 (70%), and you would pay $100 toward your debts (20%). In the UK we have two agencies that would take your 20% debt repayment, decide how best to pay your creditors and do it all for you, so that you don't have to deal with the creditors at all. It means that you would be in a better frame of mind to begin rebuilding your life - debt free - while clearing your debts. You would not be bogged down with worry or angst, which should help you to start getting even more prosperous.

4. Make new personal goals
Obviously, what you have been doing with your life, and the way you have been living, is not right for you. The next major step is to work out what you now want for yourself, how you are going to find your purpose in life, to do the things you really enjoy and earn more money, thus improving your quality of life too. That's where your positive thinking comes in handy because you need a new mindset to avoid getting into future debts. Once you work out new ways in which you can live and work, you will be well on your way.

5. Finally, smile as much as possible
It is easy to get burdened by debt. It sucks the life out of us and makes us even more unattractive to potential employers. Smile as much as you can and draw people to you. It not only makes you more appealing, but it also opens more doors to greater opportunities and makes you feel better inside. Most important, the knowledge of your little 10% nest egg that will be slowly growing and available to you when you need to treat yourself, especially as your debts decrease, will fill you with a warm glow of achievement and gratitude.





Would You Quit Your JOB if You Won Millions in a Lottery?

 

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Yes, there are a number of reasons why I would quit my job if I won the lottery, and most of them are practical and necessary. The main reason for quitting my job is that having won the money, why would I wish to hold on to a job that someone else could then have? That's rather selfish. Secondly, no matter how one might pretend that winning the lottery won't make a difference to one's life, it will, as night follows day, no matter how 'normal' one will try to live after the win. Other people will make sure one has to change.

To begin with, winning the lottery is a major gift and should be appreciated. Many people tend to suffer from guilt after winning big sums by hardly living any differently and fearing that they might appear 'flash' or 'stuck-up' to their friends and neighbours. But the best thing one can do with such good fortunes is to give thanks, donate some of it to others, pamper relatives and close friends, then move away from the district to somewhere where one is not known and one can start a new life in privacy. That's the only way one would be able to lead any kind of normal existence, living among people with money too who do not know how you got yours and how much you have.

That action is important because money causes envy and jealousy. No matter how people try to ignore it, or pretend not to notice someone else's good fortune, when it happens to a close friend or neighbour, all sorts of psychological effects come into being. Friends begin to worry that you might think they are now interested in your money; neighbours start watching how you are going to deal with it, and whether you will get above yourself and snooty, how much you will spend, whether you will be mean or generous, what you will give away and how you will deal with it. No matter how much you might try to act as you have always done before, having millions in your bank which other people know about is guaranteed to change their attitude towards you when they have so little. It's human nature if you are struggling and your relative just came into money. Difficult to know how to treat them.

So the best thing is always to give up the job within a week, without too much fuss, gather friends and families around you for drinks and presents, and get the hell out of there to a new life of comfort and fulfilling your dreams! To give thanks for your windfall by making the most of it.






Why New Year's Resolutions are Important

 

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Every New Year's day I do my ritual of looking back at the past year to see how many of my resolutions I achieved. This year I counted 8 out of 12, over 66%. Some were not really applicable any more, so my success rate could be interpreted as even better than that. I felt very pleased with myself and have promptly made new resolutions for 2008.

Two weeks into the new year, you are likely to be struggling with those resolutions you have made to improve your life in some way. You are probably wondering why you bother, when it seems so difficult to stick to them. But hang in there! Persistence usually pays off. This time of year is rife with personal promises which reflect past disappointments, frustrated dreams, lost ideals, individual yearnings and aspirations. Some people are inclined to ridicule the idea of making resolutions and trying to stick with them. But making these objectives at the start of each year is as crucial to feelings of worth and progress as actually achieving them. Many people might get despondent at not sticking to them for a long time, but any effort is better than nothing. By focusing on something you desire, you are likely to have it because you will work harder for it.

Resolutions are not just whims or idle promises. They emphasise past progress and rekindle new hopes. They demarcate the past and the present into manageable sections which acknowledge effort as well as the obstacles. They are likely to relate to losing weight, getting a new job, meeting a new soulmate, getting promotion, starting a new course, travelling, giving up smoking, reducing excesses in our lives and developing a new attitude to life, among many others. We often get strung up on not achieving all or most of those resolutions, so we become demoralised by our perceived failures in our search for perfection and then cease to bother. However, achieving all the stated resolutions is not the point. What resolutions do, in fact, is help us to acknowledge the weaknesses and gaps in our lives and then make a commitment to improve them over the next year... a period which can be easily monitored. They also give us something to look forward to, as we will make a greater effort to achieve them. That is the essence of any resolution.


Changing priorities
Thus, achieving 100% of all our resolutions is unrealistic and a fallacy. Mainly because, by the time we reach the middle of the year, our priorities would probably have changed anyway, and what we started with as a special goal would not be so important anymore. If we achieve just 20% of our goals they will have an effect on us that was not foreseen and will actually push us along, gradually, towards the person we aspire to be, or the destination we have in mind. It is when we don't even try at all that our lives take a knocking and we stay in the same rut constantly, because the need to make resolutions means that something is missing from our life which would improve its quality. We cannot ignore it.

For example, if you made three goals (to find a partner, to see some of the world and to stop smoking), this is what is likely to happen. You may find the partner first, but she smokes too. Suddenly, the need to stop smoking might not be so important anymore because you have a kindred spirit to share it with. Or you might decide you don't want to travel after all because, having fallen in love, you will both be busy planning for life together and need the travel money. Though on the face of it, you achieved only ONE of your goals, it triggered other desires which then assumed greater priority. So you actually achieved more than you thought. It's a fixation with perfection which makes us blind to other unexpected blessings.

Making personal or career resolutions are thus very important. They provide the opportunity to review your life in the past year, review where you are going, review what you are lacking and put simple steps into place, for fulfilment within a given time frame. And that is no bad thing. Self-knowledge is the greatest route to power and self-confidence. It is all about personal development and purpose in your life. Nothing helps that process more than simple resolutions at crucial points in your life.

A very Prosperous and Successful New Year to everyone reading this, and best wishes for the fulfilment of your dreams in the coming year!




20 Favourite Inspirational Quotes. What's Yours?

 

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20. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. (Foster's Law)

19.
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

(Eleanor Roosevelt)

18. Thee world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
(Robert Lee Frost)

17. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.
(Unknown)

16. If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.
(E. Joseph Cossman)

15. You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they
want. (Zig Ziglar)

14. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (Gandhi)

13. Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
(Voltaire)

12. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain
set of attitudes. (Hugh Downs)

11. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. (Einstein)

10. We see things not as they are, but as we are. (H. M. Tomlinson)

9. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within
us. (Emerson)

8. The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. (Chinese Proverb)

7.
Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put
the foundations under them.
(Thoreau)

6. Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. (Leo Tolstoy)

5.
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.
(Emerson)

4. An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. (Gandhi)

3. Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right on both counts. (Henry Ford)

2. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. (Mark Twain)

1. Man is the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. (Gandhi)

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